The emotional impact of dismissal on the adult PDA community

The adult PDA community is bombarded with dismissal from multiple directions:

Official bodies and diagnosticians who, if they acknowledge PDA at all, exclude adults( speaking over adult PDA voices in designated PDA support groups, and assuming that “PDA support” is for parents onlyAcademics such as Professor Jonathan Green, who argues that PDA is a falsehood propagated by parents misled by social media hype (link)Autistic theorists, such as Damian Milton (who argues that PDAers are autistics deemed pathological because they misfit society), and Richard Woods (who sees PDAers as gullible victims of what he terms "the autism industry"). Both views are critiqued here. Adult autistics arguing that PDA has no validity as an autism spectrum subtype. For example, I found this comment published on a public blog, “the main reason I reject PDA however (and I’m someone who formally sel…
I want to speak about PDA and empathy.

There is an ideology in social culture that PDA creates challenging, violent children who, with or without intent, can be 'abusive' both to other humans and to animals. My son, on past occasions, has been labelled by people who don't know him as uncaring towards other children, or malicious.

Anyone with a close family member, or friend, who has PDA will no doubt have first-hand experience, have read posts in support groups, or read articles on the internet discussing violent or 'challenging' behaviour caused by their high anxiety. I want to completely switch that image around.

This week, very sadly,  my son and I had to have one of our pet rats put to sleep. He cried lots of tears. It would be easy to say that he was just thinking of himself, but no, he wasn't, although of course he was going to really, really miss her.

He babied and cuddled her often whilst she was unwell, and he held her in his arms very gently, telling …


If I identify as PDA,  and some 'diagnosed' don’t like it.  I just say – get on ya way I could not care one bit
But reality is, that I do mind Because it makes me less inclined To be the me I'm wired to be
I mask in class I mask on task I’m holding it all in  You can’t see how my avoidance  Is taking toll within
It is obvious to me  That I have ADHD But as I am yet to get the proof and until that comes, does that mean I'm just a goof
These things are me, my identity it’s not yours to question that is my suggestion.
Rejection sensitivity, creates a fear in me That I’m not your cup of tea A part of me couldn’t care less Another part feels intense distress 
So, when my identity is discussed You really must Include me You seee… You don’t know my inner world Like I do not know yours Our Neurodiversity may be similar, by definition, but personalities shape us too to make our composition
The group is for others like me that could not pay the fee to get that certification of proof to prove you are not a spoof

The importance of undiagnosed adult PDAer voices

A disturbing stance is emerging within the PDA community that undiagnosed adult PDAer voices are invalid. I am writing this blog post, with passion, to counter this negativity, which I see as discriminatorily ableist and destructive.

What is PDA?
PDA, which stands for pathological demand avoidance, is a neurotype that is classed as an autism spectrum condition because it entails social communication differences & rigid thinking. In addition to this, PDA also involves strong control-need; anxiety; intolerance of uncertainty; tendency towards fantasy & role-play; disregard for hierarchy & rules; obsessive interests often focused on people; ‘Jekyll and Hyde’ emotions, and impulsiveness.

My personal journey

I first learned of PDA in 2015, eighteen months after gaining an adult autism diagnosis. At this time, Googling “PDA” returned results about difficult children, and nothing at all about adults. I resorted to searching Facebook and found just one group dedicated to adult PDA: …

Are you using your Feminist lens?

I have recently listened to “The Guilty Feminist” after a recommendation from my young teenage niece and her mother. Their wonderful enthusiasm sparked off an inquisitive interest in me that I simply had to pursue. I call myself a “feminist” but I have never said it out loud to too many people as I feel a bit of a cheat. But, it just so happens that this is exactly what the Guilty feminist is all about. I listened to the audiobook with excitement; at how the Guilty Feminist spoke for me and for many of my friends. Yes, I too rage at the inequalities that are faced by women and girls all over the world and right at our doorstep, in the workplace and in the media.   I can bet many of you reading this will relate to the Guilty Feminist. Yes, I do like my hair to look nice on the occasional day that I give a crap. Yes I do like to wear a bit of make-up – still totally rubbish at it so won’t go as far as to say I like to doll myself up. That, however is due to having an inner “can’t be bo…